I read a really difficult verse today. It was sitting there, right at the end of my daily Bible reading and it hit me hard. I thought about it for quite some time, and then I looked it up in several versions to make sure I understood what it said. I did. It was a message that I couldn’t ignore, and it went right in the face of some decisions that I was in the process of making. Something that I have been praying earnestly about.
Have you ever had this type of experience? Have you ever read a verse, maybe it’s one you’ve read a hundred times before, but this time it’s different? This time it goes right to your heart and causes a stir in you that you can’t avoid any longer?
I’m not happy about what I believe I’ve gained clarity on. I’m also not sure if the answer is as black and white as it currently seems. I won’t be making a hasty decision. Not without careful consideration and lots of prayer. I won’t even be sharing the verse here (sorry) because I don’t want to give the impression that what I believe scripture is telling me that I need to do is gospel for anyone else. I’ll go ahead and give the spoiler alert that it has nothing to do with my writing. This is something else, but something that I held dear.
This is actually an answer to prayer, just not the answer I wanted. In some ways, I’m disappointed. In other ways, I’m relieved. I’m not relieved to give up something that I believed was right for me, but relieved that a decision might have been made. I asked God to show me whether I was on the right path. Has he shown me a no? It would appear that way, and not just because of one verse in a daily Bible. I’ve been seeing subtle clues, and if I’m honest the struggle has been harder than what one might expect for something ordained by God.
There’s a part of me that wonders whether God is testing me. Wanting to see if I’ll give this thing up if required. Will I lay it on the altar of sacrifice? This could be a test, and simply a test. It could also be a major life decision.
If this is over, I’ll be disappointed. But even if I’m disappointed, I can still say with perfect clarity that God’s will be done. I may not be happy about the answer to the prayer, but I’m glad that God answers prayers. I may not be happy to receive a no, but I’m grateful that He hears me and is shaping my life. I may not be happy to have to pivot my life yet again, but I’m content that I have Him on my side, guiding me along.
Hi, I'm Melie.
If you've landed on one of my posts it's probably because you're either divorced, trying to navigate this new world of dating, grieving, or all of the above. Welcome to the club!
Life hasn't turned out the way I thought it would, that's for sure!
Maybe you feel the same way…
You thought life was going to be a beautiful fairy tale..but it’s a hot mess express instead.
Maybe you’re heartbroken, let down, or just have questions (like "What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks happened to my life?!")
Or maybe you’re so fed up with "surprises" in life that you’ve become numb to the faith that used to inspire you.
If so, you’re in the right place.
