Dating During a Pandemic

I suppose the good news about getting divorced in the middle of a pandemic is that I’m not alone. Divorce rates have dramatically increased during this crazy time. In some ways, that’s a comfort, and in other ways it’s not. 

One semi-bonus to the timing of my marital demise is the lengthening of the list of potential suitors that may come available once I’ve done my time in mourning and am ready to move on. I know that sounds callous, but hey, when you’re staring at the second half of life and all the mountains that come with it, realizing you may have to go it alone instead of with a partner, the thought that there may in fact be someone out there to share life with? It’s a nice sentiment, and dare I say it — a welcome silver lining. 

Now that we’re on the topic of finding someone new, how exactly do you go about that in the middle of a pandemic?

And before you start spouting off the benefits of dating apps, I’m going to stop you right there. I could fill a book with stories from my online dating days, and they aren’t pretty stories. Between fake doctors, sociopaths, screamers, and scammers, I’ve had my fill of the online dating world.

The only thing I can think of that would be worse than online dating? App dating. No.Thank.You. 

So then, how will I find someone? 
Here are some ways to meet your soulmate before the pandemic (and why they may not be awesome options right now).

Church

Christian ladies, let’s be honest…this is the holy grail of finding a male. #amiright? Finding the perfect guy at the church you already go to? Make room in the pew so I can faint! But, for divorced ladies, this isn’t exactly an easy option. First of all, do you go to the same church that your ex also attends? For me, this isn’t the case, but I can’t imagine that being very easy or comfortable to deal with…

“Umm, excuse me, I have a prayer request…Can you please pray that my ex and my new boyfriend are able to get along since they’re both part of the Saturday men’s breakfast event?” Awkward! 

 So, even if dealing with the ex isn’t an issue, what do you do when your church attendance consists of a screen? Right now I go to church in the exact same place where I’m writing this article and there are no men here.

Random encounters at stores

This is a fun meet cute that we often see in books and movies, but how many people (adult people) actually meet randomly at the grocery store or the mall? When I was a teenager, my friends and I used to scope out the mall for guys, which I have to admit was kind of fun, but it never translated to my adult life. Now, add the pandemic into the mix and it seems pretty impossible.

First of all, with the new shopping rules, there’s no way of actually knowing what a person’s face looks like sans mask. I’m not totally superficial, but hey, I’d like to see what I’m getting myself into. Also, thanks to our new social distancing restrictions, getting close enough to a guy to see if he might make a good potential date could be tantamount to assault. STAY SIX FEET APART!

Set up by friends

I’ve only been set up by friends a handful of times, each with less than stellar results. Back in my early dating days, I always wondered about the motivation when a girlfriend wanted to set me up with a guy. “If he’s so great, why aren’t you dating him?” I’d ask. Now, quite honestly, if a friend had a friend they thought would be a good match (and by good match, that would probably equal over forty, single, and without a criminal record) I just might go for it. I guess this is still doable during a pandemic if dating by Zoom is your thing. But, what if you actually want to see someone in person? When it comes to dating, being face to face is kind of a dealbreaker, isn’t it? What if the guy is totally cute, but smells really bad? Or what if he has a super annoying habit that isn’t made obvious when viewing just his head and snazzy digital background? 

So, what’s a woman to do?

To be honest, I’m not sure yet, but I am feeling kinda hopeful about the fact that the pool of prospects is growing. 

What a bad person! Yeah, I just read your thoughts. How dare she, a CHRISTIAN woman, be happy that marriages are breaking up?

Let me be clear — I’m not happy about it. In fact, I think it’s really sad. But here’s reality: The last time I dated, I was in my mid-twenties, and most guys my age were unattached. Now, at forty, this is a very different story.

Most guys my age who are worth being attached to, are very much attached to wives, children, and mortgages. I read somewhere that the chance of me finding someone is around 20-something percent. However, now with the pandemic swinging its wrecking ball into homes across America, there is a chance that a good man, though still hard to find, might not be impossible once this dust settles.

He may be out there, signing papers, and splitting assets just as I am now, and someday, somehow, we may meet. I’m just trying to figure out how.