The power of rest

Rest. Something a lot of us need more of, but many of us feel we don’t have time to seek. I have been in a mode of go, go, go these past couple years. While some of that hustle has been positive, if I’m really honest, a lot of it has been an escape from my reality. The loss of my marriage. The loss of the life I thought would be mine forever. A change in location, vocation, and pretty much everything else. 

I’ve climbed the corporate ladder these past few years, made huge leaps in my career, then found myself at the receiving end of what amounts to basically a “thanks for nothing” email when the company I worked for laid off 35% of their staff. It wasn’t personal, but it was quick and to the point. Not too unlike the message I received from my husband of 14 years when he let me know he was letting me go from the role of wife, although that one hurt a lot more. 

I remember being stunned when I first read the email. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t move. This couldn’t be happening. But it was. And just like that, the career I was so proud of building came to a crashing halt. It’s not over. I’m picking up the pieces and moving on, but it did stun me into rest for a moment. 

I had that same breathless feeling two years ago when my divorce was sped to the front of the line and quickly granted so that my ex could move on with his new life a couple months earlier than originally planned. Again, I was stunned. Life is like that sometimes, isn’t it? Change after change in circumstances leaves us forced to take the rest we should have taken all along. 

Life has no guarantees. We can be cruising along, enjoying the view, and then suddenly we crash, or have to veer off the road, or take a quick right when we thought we’d be going left. 

Scratches and scars

Those changes to life’s circumstances change us, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Sometimes, we brush ourselves off and wait for the minor scratches to heal, and sometimes those changes leave deep scars that will heal, but never fully go away. 

This job loss will hopefully be just a scratch on the surface of my life, but my divorce has been a deep scar that keeps reopening time and time again. Finding out my ex fully moved on. Getting an “admin” email from him with the same tone you’d email a stranger at your bank. Realizing how hard it is to find someone again. Not being sure I even want to take that chance. Every birthday, holiday, and anniversary being a painful reminder of what was lost. Of course, there have been good moments in my journey since my divorce, but I won’t sugarcoat things. It has been the most difficult thing I’ve ever faced in my life. I’m not without joy, but I carry a lot of sorrow. 

Don’t give up

Which brings me back to the idea of rest. When life is hard, it’s important not to give up, but we should also take time to rest. Rest doesn’t mean we’ve thrown in the towel or are retreating completely. Instead, for me, this time of rest is a time when I will regroup and figure out what I want to do with this second half of my life. Because the reality is, we have only one life here on earth, and I’ve spent a lot of mine living someone else’s dreams and desires. Maybe it’s time I lived my own, even if I’m not entirely sure what that would look like. But that’s the point of rest. I will reflect, redesign, and rebuild. I’m also reframing what rest means to me. It’s not a time of inactivity, but a time of activity that fuels my soul. Part of this time of rest is figuring out what those things are.

One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know…” I think it’s because I have such a hard time being still, yet I often long for that rest. Now, I’m taking that time to reignite my soul and get back to things matter.

Reframing change

If you find yourself in a time of rest, whether forced or planned, how can you see it as a gift? Even if you wanted things to be different from how they are, can you see a path forward that includes joy again? Can you see yourself happier when you reach that other side of what’s challenging you?

And yes, while this reframing tool comes from a place of positivity, it doesn’t have to mean being toxically positive. That is never helpful. I’m still incredibly sad over my divorce. I’m worried about what I’ll do for work going forward. I have never been and will never be a Pollyanna about life’s hardships. But, by leaning into the change I’ve experienced and accepting it as my reality, even though it’s not what I want, I can see a tiny glimmer of hope for the future.

Can you see it for your future, too?